Where can a 58hp clown car, a rally prepped Evo, a crash damaged Explorer, and a bone stock Volt all race together?

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher) 11/01/2018 at 14:11 • Filed to: RallyMetro

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A t the rallycross! That’s where!

Slow car fast baby!

Take two on this story, as Kinja ate my first draft. That’s what I get for authoring it in Kinja, I should know better.

Anyways, I’ve written several times about my rallycross exploits, and pestered you several more times to come join me. Some of my fellow Opponauts have answered the bell. LongbowMk2 drove all the way up from Kentucky to participate in the ill-fated but still fun snowmudm aggadonbowl500 last year. Birddog has actually codriven the RallyMetro a few times now. MasterMario impressed the hell out of us this spring, by whipping his extended cab F-150 around that tight little track like a boss!

Let me tell you, anybody who wasn’t there last Sunday was missing out! The course they laid out was the coolest one yet IMO, and track conditions were the best I’ve ever seen. We were worried coming into it, as it rained the night before and was forecasted to rain during the day as well. Word from the venue was that the track had been exceedingly dry beforehand, so the moisture we were getting should simply serve to just keep the dust down. It turned out to be a chilly cloudy day, and the track apparently got a bit greasy during the first AWD heat when we did get some rain. Other than that though, the track surface was fantastic, and it seemed to just get faster and faster all day.

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One of the things I love about the events that !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! puts on, is how diverse the field of cars is. This past event was a perfect example. My favorite two vehicles to see there were a 2.2 Ecotech swapped Baja Bug, and some beautiful hero brought out his bone stock Chevy Volt to have a go. Sir, I salute you!

The RallyMetro continues to impress all with it’s durability. Between Birddog and I, we hammered it 24 times around that course, and the only thing it asked for was more oil … ok, it needed a lot more oil. I brought two quarts with me, and by the end of the day, it was probably a quart and a half low. For perspective, the Metro’s tiny little 3-popper only holds 3-½ quarts. So yeah, we made what basically amounts to a full atmospheric oil change. Can you believe that the state of Illinois had the gall to fail it on emissions? The nerve!

Speaking of Birddog, it was a good thing that: a) he was there codriving, and b) he has a similarly enormous head, because stupid me forgot my friggin’ helmet! Otherwise, I would’ve been off to the nearest motorcycle shop to buy a helmet. It was cool getting to watch the RallyMetro run. We couldn’t ride together like we usually do, since we were sharing the helmet. I particularly enjoyed watching Birddog pull the right front tire in the air on the first hard right turn … or once both right tires in the air. Although I won the title for most RallyMetro air. I was running through a hard right hand turn up in the flats, when the RallyMetro did a pretty good impression of a bicycle! I had the right side about 15-20 degrees in the air, when I counter- steered into the infield and pulled it back down. I only lost maybe four seconds with those shenanigans!

At the end of the day, I came in third in the stock front wheel drive class, and Birddog came in first. My fastest time was just a teensy bit faster than his, but he got faster quicker. My times in the uncounted worker’s heat started in the 124 second range, and my second to last run was a 110.9. On my very last run, that was the one I decided to throw caution to the wind a bit having already bested Birddog’s best time, and put it up on two wheels. That earned me a 114 second time, and a big shit-eating grin!

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! of some of the event on the book of faces, and the RallyMetro snuck in a few times. You can all enjoy watching it fumagate the area of mosquitos :D

I can’t thank the guys who run the Stateline Rallycross events enough. The competitors are all fantastic to run with. This rallycross stuff is by orders of magnitude the most fun you can have in a car for short money. I encourage you all to try it out, I promise you won’t regret it.

Tiny car is tail happy

I still don’t recommend using the vehicle you need to get to work in tomorrow though.

ToyotaFamily > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 14:23

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I love that first picture. The burning pile in the back just gives it that e xtra something.

Mercedes Streeter > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 14:31

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Are lifted vehicles allowed? Because when I buy my next smart (January-February) that’s going to be my dedicated offroad build. :D

...Oh god I’m probably going to learn how strong the roof really is, aren’t I?

Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW! > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 14:34

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I am now going to look for garbage cars to do this with.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Mercedes Streeter 11/01/2018 at 14:43

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My F150 is sort of lifted (1" block in the rear and 2" in the front using F250 springs) and I didn’t have any issues. I also have the turning radius of a ship when in 4x4 so that may have naturally prevented any roll- overs

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 14:46

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I’m hoping to get out there again next year. I’m just hesitant to use the F150 right now since I’m selling the K3500, which means the F150 would be my only vehicle until we get something else for my wife (which depends on selling the K3500 first).

WilliamsSW > ToyotaFamily 11/01/2018 at 14:56

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I came to post the same thought!  That’s just perfect! 

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 14:58

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What state is this in and when can i sign up

BeaterGT > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 15:13

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Pretty sure the Legacy GT can handle this. Only one way to find out.

shop-teacher > Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner 11/01/2018 at 15:14

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Illinois, Statelinerallycross.com, last event of the year is next Sunday.  Come join us!

shop-teacher > ToyotaFamily 11/01/2018 at 15:21

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Yeah, that’s why I picked that one for the lead image. It was real ly cool emerging through t he woods, into the flats, and seeing the smoke and the flames.  

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 15:31

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Awesome. Last weekend I went to the last rallycross of the season here in WA and I already miss it. Great group of people and hilariously diverse cars. Some even brought an electric B aja Beetle.

WilliamsSW > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 15:31

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Dammit, I do need to witness this one day!  Maybe when my kid turns 16...

shop-teacher > Mercedes Streeter 11/01/2018 at 15:33

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The only real rule as to what can run, is it needs to be wider than it is tall.  If you’re not sure, I can contact the owner and find out.

shop-teacher > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 11/01/2018 at 15:34

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Yeah, I totally understand that.  I went home on a wrecker once, which is why I always suggest not running a vehicle you need to get to work.

shop-teacher > Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW! 11/01/2018 at 15:34

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Good!  You should!

shop-teacher > BeaterGT 11/01/2018 at 15:35

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It definitely can!  DO EEEEEET!

shop-teacher > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M 11/01/2018 at 15:45

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That’s really cool!

shop-teacher > WilliamsSW 11/01/2018 at 15:45

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No, you can’t wait that long. I’ll have to drag you out there next year.

Or next Sunday, that’s the last event of the year.

Mercedes Streeter > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 15:47

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... it needs to be wider than it is tall .

Scheisse!

Height: 1,5 40 mm
Width: 1,5 60 mm

It qualifies! lol

WilliamsSW > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 15:48

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Believe me, I don’t want to wait that long. Will look into the 11th, but I’m not optimistic--

shop-teacher > Mercedes Streeter 11/01/2018 at 15:49

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YES!!! DO EEEEEEET!!!!!!

shop-teacher > WilliamsSW 11/01/2018 at 15:50

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Next year then.  If I have an opening, I’ll even let you codrive.

E92M3 > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 15:53

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You have so much fun! I really should find a cheap Gambler 500 or Rallycross car. They should add a couple small jumps just to make things more in teresting.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 15:53

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i just need a car trailer and i can tow my 3 cylinder cobalt out there to beat on haha

TorqueToYield > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 16:05

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Stock Volt?

How did he do?

shop-teacher > E92M3 11/01/2018 at 16:21

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You definitely should!

That was actually discussed as a possibility for next year.

shop-teacher > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 11/01/2018 at 16:22

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Yes!  Or a cheap car dolly would do as well!

shop-teacher > TorqueToYield 11/01/2018 at 16:23

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He wasn’t fast, but he had fun and the car survived just fine!

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 16:42

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Calculates distance from Georgia to Illinois

yeah i cant

shop-teacher > Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner 11/01/2018 at 16:49

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Yeah, that's pretty far. Check your local SCCA.

Shift24 > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 17:10

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Man that looks so much smoother than the one is used to rally cross at. OVR/WOR have a decent group that attend but the location was beating up my car. I stopped because I was replacing the whole front suspension every year. And it just wasn’t worth spending $500+ on parts. But the location is known to have to stop and adjust the course because it was too rough or people were getting air. I did one to many times.

Its fun and a good time if you have a car you don’t care about. But I drive my accord occasionally and would like it to be in one piece

shop-teacher > Shift24 11/01/2018 at 18:16

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Wow, that’s brutal.  I’ve had the RallyMetro for two years now.  I still don’t have $500 into that thing.

MiniGTI - now with XJ6 > shop-teacher 11/01/2018 at 23:19

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This is in Byron? I used to live near there — I should have checked it out years ago. Man that looks fun I’d really love to do it. Pretty sure I’d need to find a beater for it my DD cars are all too nice. The MINI would be a blast though; or the Jag (you saw it at the meetup) c ould be a hoot too!

Could I just borrow the RallyMetro for a couple laps sometime???

Birddog > MiniGTI - now with XJ6 11/02/2018 at 04:08

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I will be prepping something for next year. Ridealongs are free. Driving costs.

MiniGTI - now with XJ6 > Birddog 11/02/2018 at 04:45

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I’ll consider it!

Birddog > shop-teacher 11/02/2018 at 04:46

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I’ve been waiting for this! That track was just amazing . They didn’t even have to prep during the break. Was there a break? I don’t even think we stopped..

Folks, y ou wouldn’t believe how much of a workout sawing the wheel of a Metro for 111 seconds is. My right leg was sore for two days because I was using the go pedal to brace myself in the seat.

That Metro needs to be mounted like a Buck when/if it ever quits. 

We need more drivers. The track owner is hooked now. He’s willing to do more but only if we bring more.

shop-teacher > MiniGTI - now with XJ6 11/02/2018 at 05:32

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Yep, Byron Motorsports Park. I don’t recommend using your DD, but either the Mini or the Jaaaaaag would be super cool to see run through there.

Codriving the RallyMetro is a possibility in the future. Right now Birddog and a buddy of mine (the really tall guy who was with us at that m eetup) have been taking turns doing that, but Birddog is looking to buy his own car for next season, so an opening is possible.

shop-teacher > Birddog 11/02/2018 at 05:36

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Nope, no break. That's why we got extra runs in the afternoon.

fryguy > shop-teacher 11/03/2018 at 09:02

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As the part-time body man for the RallyMetro, she and I would like her to be referred to as the “Sweet Babu”. 

shop-teacher > fryguy 11/03/2018 at 16:21

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I will take that under consideration....

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > shop-teacher 11/11/2018 at 11:47

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I could have fun with this, but I wouldn’t want a Metro. I’d want something rear wheel drive with a little bit of horsepower. Maybe an S-10 manual with the 4.3L Vortec and strip out lots of things. I’d probably look for a crew cab short bed so the crew compartment could be enclosed. And some kind of seat so that my back would survive. The guys on Roadkill say that the 4.3 stands up well to power mods. I realize the key to it all is to not spend much money, and there ought to be some clapped-out, rusted-out S-10 or S-15 out there for pretty cheap.

shop-teacher > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 11/11/2018 at 22:01

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Full report to come, but today was the RallyMetro’s last rodeo. It still runs, but the motor is big time wounded, and it’s too rusty to be worth fixing.

I would like to get an S-10 or Ranger to replace it. Stock power is plenty, it’ll have a hard enough time putting that down in the dirt.